14:17. I hate this waiting bit. I've been trying to read the omens. Last night, an Irishman with a Welsh surname hit a century, and with that England beat Australia in a one-day international. Is this a good sign? I have a superstition that England occasionally does well in 2 events and then fails dismally in a third. I don't know whether that result means the footie players will do well and then somebody will do something pathetic later. Or did the England victories start last week with Lewis Hamilton in the drive-around-in-circles-while-commentators-passionately-discuss-tyre-compounds thingummybob. In which case we've used up the 2 lives and a death will follow immediately.
And I've just had two unscheduled spontaneous deflations on the bike. I wasn't even on the bike - but I did leave against a wall in the sunshine so maybe the air expanded. And then, thinking I'd repaired it, I reinflated it to 9 bar, broke my pump, and left the bike against the wall again. Pfffffffffffffft! So how do I interpret that? 2 bad things to be followed by something good?
14:53. Time for a pot of tea....lumme, all-red. It's Liverpool!
15:00. They're off. Gawdhelpus!
15:04. Johnson looking for a card....
15:06. They're a bit more joinedy-uppy so far.
15:07. Birsa bursts forward and get in first shot on goal. Straight to James.
15:09. Barry tries for a card but the ref's not in the mood.
15:10. First corner for England, Gerrard hits it too deep and Slovenia break.
15:13, Lampard hits a 35 yard free kick. On target. Keeper a bit untidy but saves it.
15:15, Ashley Cole has started well.
15:17 Rooney gets a shot in. Deflected for a corner. Terry reaches it and it goes across the face of goal. Corner awarded.
15:19 Johnson takes a pot-shot. On target but easy for the keeper. They seem to be aiming on the ground just in front of the keeper.
15:20. James needs to make a smart save from a Slovenia corner.
15:22. Johnson crosses, Defoe meets it. Goal. First blood to the reds.
15:24. Excited commentator says England need to stay calm! Practice as you preach, Laurie!
15:26. Blimey, did Terry just get a cross in? Defoe just fails to get on the end of it. England are on top at the moment. And - shock - they're passing it about!
15:29. More tea - don't score until I'm back...
15:30 Sounds like the Slovenian keeper was listening to me. Something about Gerrard and a brilliant save.
15:34. Wasted free kick for the Slovens. Build it slowly, England....Milner crosses. Corner to England.
15:38. I'm only typing this to stop me chain-smoking. Good job I can touch type....
15:39. Jokic gets the first yellow of the match. Clowns to the left of me, Jokic to the right...
15:41 Deflected free kick from 40 yards out draws a steepling punch from James. Got away with it.
15:44. Did I say it's a lovely summer's day here in London? Half time. No stoppages.
Compared to the last performances, this is much better. So far. They look like a team again.
I think I just spotted Hillary Clinton's husband at the USA game.
If England sit back now, they're cooked.
45. Defoe comes very close to his second after England gets a corner from the Slovenly defence.
47 Johnson gets booked for diving. Only he didn't dive! Tough.
48. Defoe gets one in the net. Oh, offside! Offside?
51. Free kick to Slovenia, straight to James.
53. Gerrard gives Rooney 2 opportunities to score but he misses the second attempt completely. He's not back in form yet.
55. Gravity seems to be affecting the Slovenians' balance. And the shock waves are making the referee's whistle blow.
57. Terry gets a great header in from a corner. Good save. Another corner.
58. Lampard offers Rooney another scoring chance and he hits the woodwork. It ain't working yet.
59. England are all over Slovenia right now. Watch out for those breaks though...
62. Slovens sub striker for striker. Dedic.
65. Upson goes oops-a-daisy but Birsa gives it straight to James.
66. Rooney is limping.
68. Whooooah! 3 shots to Slovenia, 3 desperate blocks from the defence.
69. Joe Cole is warming up.
71. Birsa overcooks a free kick.
72. Cole on for Rooney. He's got a bit of a limp but his game isn't quite there.
79. 11 minutes to go. Lots of England pressing, occasional counters from Slovenia.
83. Heskimo is warming up. On for Defoe? Yup.
85. Corner for Slovenia. Nothing doing. It'll take an England cock-up to lose this. Upson, maybe.
87. Another England corner - they must have had at least 12 so far.
88. Johnson foul. Yellow card, free kick. Slovenia don't have anything. Yet....
90. Eek, that was almost the equaliser. 3 mins extra time.
90+1. England holding it in the Sloven's corner...they draw the foul...
09+3 And it's still in the corner. Free kick to Slovenia. But they're back in the corner. And the final whistle blows. England finish top of the group? No, USA have scored which means Slovenia are out, USA leads the group on goal difference.