Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

The Motto Of This World Cup



I can't stop laughing!

Monday, 28 June 2010

Meeeeeeeeeeeehhh!

I don't know how to embed this but give it a click anyway.  Justified self-defence?  

http://i.imgur.com/2lJE1.gif



Embedded :-) Jaime

Sunday, 27 June 2010

It wasn't goal



Sorry about the shambles today...

So what's it going to be?

This?











Or this?

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Go Ghana!

1-0!

And then there were....

15.

Goodbye S Korea.  I thought they were by far the more positive side, but the Uruguys were just that bit more savvy.

14.

Goodbye Americans.   Fair enough.  I thought Ghana played well.


13 (unlucky 13?)

..............................................

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Fabio Crapello

And Italy is out

A friend of mine said when Barça faced Inter this season that for him, when Italian teams beat anybody is like when the bad guys in the films win.

How about today? Amazing... We all thought that France were going home pretty early, but Italy...

PD: Howard Webb has declared a goal invalid because of offside. But apparently, it wasnt'. Guess what country is supporting Germany on Sunday...

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Live scores....

Remember them?

14:17. I hate this waiting bit.  I've been trying to read the omens. Last night, an Irishman with a Welsh surname hit a century, and with that England beat Australia in a one-day international.  Is this a good sign?  I have a superstition that England occasionally does well in 2 events and then fails dismally in a third.  I don't know whether that result means the footie players will do well and then somebody will do something pathetic later.  Or did the England victories start last week with Lewis Hamilton in the drive-around-in-circles-while-commentators-passionately-discuss-tyre-compounds thingummybob.  In which case we've used up the 2 lives and a death will follow immediately.

And I've just had two unscheduled spontaneous deflations on the bike.  I wasn't even on the bike - but I did leave against a wall in the sunshine so maybe the air expanded.  And then, thinking I'd repaired it, I reinflated it to 9 bar, broke my pump, and left the bike against the wall again.  Pfffffffffffffft!  So how do I interpret that?  2 bad things to be followed by something good?

14:53.  Time for a pot of tea....lumme, all-red.  It's Liverpool!

15:00.  They're off.  Gawdhelpus!

15:04.  Johnson looking for a card....

15:06.  They're a bit more joinedy-uppy so far.

15:07.  Birsa bursts forward and get in first shot on goal.  Straight to James.

15:09.  Barry tries for a card but the ref's not in the mood.

15:10.  First corner for England, Gerrard hits it too deep and Slovenia break.

15:13,  Lampard hits a 35 yard free kick.  On target.  Keeper a bit untidy but saves it.

15:15,   Ashley Cole has started well.

15:17  Rooney gets a shot in.  Deflected for a corner.  Terry reaches it and it goes across the face of goal.  Corner awarded.

15:19  Johnson takes a pot-shot.  On target but easy for the keeper.  They seem to be aiming on the ground just in front of the keeper.

15:20.  James needs to make a smart save from a Slovenia corner.

15:22.  Johnson crosses, Defoe meets it.  Goal.  First blood to the reds.

15:24.  Excited commentator says England need to stay calm!  Practice as you preach, Laurie!

15:26.  Blimey, did Terry just get a cross in?  Defoe just fails to get on the end of it.  England are on top at the moment.  And - shock - they're passing it about!

15:29.  More tea - don't score until I'm back...

15:30 Sounds like the Slovenian keeper was listening to me.  Something about Gerrard and a brilliant save.

15:34.  Wasted free kick for the Slovens.  Build it slowly, England....Milner crosses.  Corner to England.

15:38.  I'm only typing this to stop me chain-smoking.  Good job I can touch type....

15:39.  Jokic gets the first yellow of the match.  Clowns to the left of me, Jokic to the right...

15:41  Deflected free kick from 40 yards out draws a steepling punch from James.  Got away with it.

15:44.  Did I say it's a lovely summer's day here in London?  Half time.  No stoppages.

Compared to the last performances, this is much better.  So far.  They look like a team again.

I think I just spotted Hillary Clinton's husband at the USA game.

If England sit back now, they're cooked.

45.  Defoe comes very close to his second after England gets a corner from the Slovenly defence.

47 Johnson gets booked for diving.  Only he didn't dive!  Tough.

48.  Defoe gets one in the net.  Oh, offside!  Offside?

51.   Free kick to Slovenia, straight to James.

53.  Gerrard gives Rooney 2 opportunities to score but he misses the second attempt completely.  He's not back in form yet.

55.  Gravity seems to be affecting the Slovenians' balance.  And the shock waves are making the referee's whistle blow.

57.  Terry gets a great header in from a corner.  Good save.  Another corner.

58.  Lampard offers Rooney another scoring chance and he hits the woodwork. It ain't working yet.


59.  England are all over Slovenia right now.  Watch out for those breaks though...

62. Slovens sub striker for striker.  Dedic.

65.  Upson goes oops-a-daisy but Birsa gives it straight to James.

66.  Rooney is limping. 

68.  Whooooah!  3 shots to Slovenia, 3 desperate blocks from the defence.

69.  Joe Cole is warming up.

71.  Birsa overcooks a free kick.

72.  Cole on for Rooney.  He's got a bit of a limp but his game isn't quite there.

79.  11 minutes to go.  Lots of England pressing, occasional counters from Slovenia.

83.  Heskimo is warming up.  On for Defoe?  Yup.

85.  Corner for Slovenia.  Nothing doing.  It'll take an England cock-up to lose this.  Upson, maybe.

87.  Another England corner - they must have had at least 12 so far.

88.  Johnson foul.  Yellow card, free kick.  Slovenia don't have anything.  Yet....

90. Eek, that was almost the equaliser.  3 mins extra time.

90+1.  England holding it in the Sloven's corner...they draw the foul...

09+3  And it's still in the corner.  Free kick to Slovenia.  But they're back in the corner.  And the final whistle blows.  England finish top of the group?  No, USA have scored which means Slovenia are out, USA leads the group on goal difference.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

OMG Cat

Football jokes....

Should have set this up ages ago!

I'll kick off with....

The England squad went to visit a South African orphanage this morning. 

" It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible " said Jamal Umboto, aged six!



And one from Jaime:


A South African boy goes with his parents to a divorce custody hearing.

The judge asks the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"

The boy replies, "no, she beats me!"

The judge asks, "do you want to live with your father?"

The boy replies, "no, he beats me!"

The judge asks "well who do you want to live with then?"

The boy replies, "the England team, they don't beat anyone!"


-0-
More from Jaime:

Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Friday was completely s**t. British intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

-0-

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this f*****g mess, don't ask me to sort it out..."

-0-


'Heskey,' said the coach angrily after a disastrous match, 'your playing was lousy. You're a disgrace to the team.'

'Don't pay any attention to him, Emile,' said a team-mate, trying to be encouraging. 'He doesn't know what he's talking about. He only repeats what everybody else says.'
 

-0-

Rob Green trained today and in 3 hours and 30,000 shots he didn't concede one goal! Tomorrow him and Heskey are going to train with the rest of the squad. 

-0- 

In class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have...

Teacher to kid: And what does your dad do?

Jimmy: He's a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates

After class, the teacher takes Jimmy to one side...

Teacher: Is that true about your dad?

Jimmy: No, he plays football for England but I was too embarrassed to say
 

Monday, 21 June 2010

A,B,C....N

So the beginning of a pattern is emerging.  There are only 4 teams who have played two and won two.  (The teams still to play their second game have already dropped points.)

Argentina, 
Brazil
Chile
Netherlands.

Of the 4, 3 of them are South American.  From among the Europeans, only Netherlands have managed to win two games on the trot.  The rest of Europe has been making  football look a very difficult game to play convincingly and consistently.

On 6 points - 2 wins.

On 4 points, 1 win, 1 draw

On 3 points, 1 win, 1 lose
On 2 points, 2 draws
On 1 point, 1 draw, 1 lose
On 0 points, lose, lose....

Dreaming

Not passing the quarter finals gives the famous film....

NIGHTMARE IN ELM SPAIN



Honduras tonight, 19:30 h. for you living in England, horrible hours for Mike, 20:30 for me. After England, France, Germany against Serbia, Italy... What the fuc* is gonna happen?

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Friday, 18 June 2010

We're




and we know we are

What complete and utter garbage, they didn't have a clue. Worst prepared team in the tournament with the best paid coach. Shocking.

Nicknames for English goalkeepers

David James replaces Green in goal tonight

No worries then.

R2 England v Germany

Football tournament soon to return to its roots? The justification for the plastic horns is that they apparently have some kind of cultural significance. Same logic should apply to England and German fans in the squares of Jo'burg and Cape Town.

It was time for somebody to do this

Are they stupid? Or it's just my opinion?

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Football Hurts

Yes, we're far from home, it's cold and we're losing....

I can't stop uploading shit

General Stuff

I've set up the PTS-style predictions spreadsheet for the knock out stages.  I'll put the teams in when we know who they are.

-0-

I've enjoyed doing this blog game and I was wondering about whether it would be possible to set up a spreadsheet for the next premier league season and whether people would be interested in continuing.  Now that the Guardian appears to have off-loaded the game, I doubt whether they will set up a new game.  I may be wrong though.

It would be fairly easy to increase the number of participants - just a matter of copying the formulas into new columns.  So it would also be possible to increase the number of players if anybody knows of like-minded candidates.  We'd have to decide whether to limit the number of people who can edit the spreadsheet to just the ''authors'' so that nobody else can come along and either deliberately or accidentally mess up the figures.  And I'd love to get Ankaraspor-stokecity-havantandwaterlooville nil back into the group.  Once he's settled into new home, new job and new club for his son, he might look at the grey autumn skies and think 'let's play PTS.'

So what do people think about continuing and/or opening it up to new people? 

Always look on the bright side



Who said that vuvuzelas were just a pain in the ass? Diego has found a good use for them

Missing footballs may delay start of Argentina v S.Korea

Argentina's coach says he has no idea where all the match Jabulanis have disappeared to.

Spain Vs Switzerland

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Cuckoo Clocks give Spain wake up call....

We're back

I was afraid we could actually do anything possitive, but after all the triumphalism before the World Cup, things have gone back to the tradition.

Swizerland 1 - Spain 0

Calm Down!

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

FIFA clamp down on Dutch hooligans

Democratic People's Republic of Korea sends congratulatory gift to Brazil

Is this the worst World Cup ever?

Anyway, I'm just 27, and my World Cup memories begin in 1990, even though I don't remember much of that World Cup (I was just 7, and not into football back then), after 5 days of matches, looking backwards to USA 94, France 98, Korea-Japan 2002, Germany 2008... So far, only Germany have offered something, and not spectacular. Well, and North Korea scoring has been a good laugh, I have to admit.

So, have you ever seen a worst World Cup, taking into account what has happened so far?


If the game keeps being so bad I'll find myself begging "Please, let the league start again. I want August to arrive again"

News....(2)

I just got an email from Ankaraspor/stokecitynil/Mark.  He's well, living on the south coast now and it sounds like Havant and Waterlooville are going to be the team of the future...!  He did the same as I did - put his predictions onto the old PTS site only to find them and the site disappear.  But as the blog's firewalled from work he's missed the beginning of the predictions.  (I've offered him the average score if he still comes along....)

- 0 -

I really liked this half-time shot on't telly so I screengrabbed it.  (Still 0 - 0, Brazil v North Korea) 


Monday, 14 June 2010

Germany off to a flier

A Swiss relative was visiting in London the other week.  He caused much merriment by pushing his way to the front of the check-out queue (where there was family) shouting...

''Out of my way, I'm German!''

So, apparently the Germans have a bit of a reputation in Switzerland too.

Meanwhile, I found myself asking myself: ''Were the Aussies having a really bad day or were the Germans having a really good day?''   And I think the answer is ''yes''....

Friday, 11 June 2010

Vuvuzelas

I know I'm a grumpy bastard, but those things are going to be seriously irritating after 4 weeks.

Every now and again you could make out human voices when something exciting happened (so pretty rarely in the France/Uraguay game) but it was immediately drowned out again by the demented bee swarm.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

News....

Some recent changes....

I've added a predictions page which links to an online spreadsheet.  You can enter your predictions directly (Actually, anybody at all can enter and change predictions at the moment - but I don't think anybody will come along and mess it up.  Might have to monitor that, though.)  If you've already posted up your predictions on this blog, I'll update the SS in a while.

I've also added a recent comments gadgets so that you can see what's been going on since your last visit. 

And as the Guardian has given our contact details to an external company, I thought it only fair to steal their logo (minus the social betting bit...).

While I'm at it, what shall we do about Winner predictions? Should we do that before any games are played or later?

UPDATE: I've added predictions already made on here and there's also a first goalscorer sheet.  Jaime's predictions are up.  (Personally, I'll add my predictions as we go along - too much research in one go....)